HOM MAIL

Discreet Parcel Collection & Forwarding

Your Privacy, Our Priority

How It Works

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Step 1

Use Our Address
Provide our secure location instead of your home address.

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Step 2

We Receive & Store Securely
Your package arrives safely, and you get a discreet notification.

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Step 3

Pick Up or Forwarded Anonymously
Collect in person or have it shipped in plain packaging.

Why Choose HOM Mail?

Privacy First

No real names required on parcels, only in the backend for fraud prevention.

Neutral Return Address

LPO Holdings ensures no embarrassing labels.

Legally Protected & Secure

Fully compliant with UK fraud prevention laws.

Years of Experience

Run by a professional with expertise in discretion and adult industry needs.

Basic

£20/per month

Small parcel collection
7-day free storage
*optional forwarding

Standard

£35/per month

Large parcel collection
14-day free storage
*optional forwarding

Premium

£40/per month

30-day storage
Priority handling
*optional forwarding

VIP Plan

£60/per month

Unlimited collections (within working hours)
*priority forwarding

*Mail Forwarding

From £5 + postage

Repackaged in neutral, embarrassment-proof packaging

FAQs

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Is it really discreet?

Like… really discreet.

No logos, no labels, no curious neighbours. Just your package, rewrapped and handled like a dirty little secret.

Can I collect in person?

Of course. We’ll store it safely at HOM Studios, and you can pick it up when you’re ready—no awkward chit-chat required.

Can you forward it to me instead?

Yes! We’ll post it to your home, hotel, or hideaway—repackaged if needed so it doesn’t scream “I’m a vibrating friend!”

What name do I put on the label?

Use an alias, use your scene name, call yourself ‘Master of the Universe’—just make sure you tell us what to expect, or we might not accept it.

What if the item is obviously… shaped?

We’ve seen worse. If your parcel arrives looking like a weapon of pleasure, we’ll slap it in embarrassment-proof packaging before forwarding it.

Can I get tracking info when you forward it?

Yes. You’ll get tracking details the moment it leaves our hands. No mystery—unless you want it that way.

How do I pay for my membership?

Memberships are billed monthly via Square—simple, secure, and hands-free.

You sign up once, and we’ll do the rest.

No card faff, no missed payments, no interruptions to your filthy little perks.

Want in? Sign up and let the good stuff roll in—month after month.

How do I pay for forwarding?

We keep it easy, just like everything else we do.

Set up a quick, fuss-free Direct Debit via GoCardless.

No upfront charges—once we’ve packed and weighed your parcel, we’ll send an invoice and process payment through your approved method.

How long will you hold my parcel?

We’ll keep it safe for up to 14 days (30 days if you’re on our Premium and VIP membership). After that, it’s either returned, recycled—or used for studio science (kidding. Mostly).

Anything you won’t accept?

Illegal, hazardous, perishable, or suspicious items are a hard no. We’re naughty, not criminal.

Why use HOM Mail at all?

Because the world isn’t built for our kind of fun. HOM Mail gives you privacy, safety, and freedom to order what you want—without the side-eyes.

What counts as small or large?

Small: If it’s easy to carry and stash away without breaking a sweat, we’ll call it small. Think boxes, bags, or anything that doesn’t eat half the room.
Large: If it looks like it belongs in a showroom—or needs two hands and some swearing to move—then it’s large. Furniture, thrones, cages, that sort of thing.

Can I do it as a one-off?

Absolutely. Our monthly fee still applies for that month, but just let us know afterwards and we won’t collect the fee the following month.